Saturday, January 12, 2013

7 dpo- meh

Thought I was having a bit soreness and some nausea, but they all vanished yesterday. This morning I woke up feeling "empty" again, that's not a good sign. I did a hpt this afternoon and it was stark Snow White negative. Hmmm. (Still I prefer to know along side than be crushed all at once) -- Does it make me more depressed? I'd say no. I'm already depressed about this whole "motherhood thing".  I'm considering moving the Feb IVF to this Month, if RE gives the ok. Sometimes I feel like giving up, living my life the way it was pre-IF.  But the desire just drives me forward, and my dear husband, who's been so kind, tender and encouraging, tells me to keep trying...still, we can't figure out what the hell is wrong with this body of mine that has not been cooperating except being healthy.

 I'm starting to feel very tired from all this Infertility crap. We've started this in 09, 3 years later I haven't even had a miscarriage. That just does not sound right, as if my body is rejecting the idea of becoming a mother?! I wish we could find out one of those days.

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