Thursday, February 28, 2013

Feeling overwhelmed

Today is one of these days I know my hormone is acting up. I've been feeling tired and depressed, everything seems so significant and annoying. I just want to curl up and cry--quietly, just to myself.
I'm a mess, an emotional and physical mess. Last week I thought I will be ovulating on time since the doctor didn't find any cyst, but alas, not so soon! I feel like a tiny piece of leaf floating in the ocean with no direction, no hope and no luck. I don't know when to stop or where the end is (or whether it has already arrived for me) other than the bills are still pouring in from my previous cycle with no baby in sight. The only thing is certain is that soon I will be 31, 4 years away from when we stared to ttc. I guess what makes it worse is people in my life are either pregnant, gave birth or already have two or three kids, which is great, I'm happy some people can achieve pregnancy so easily, but it makes me so mad and sad that my hardest work has not gotten us anywhere so far, all we have are bills and more questions... My poor husband...I know the hardest thing for him is seeing me cry because it's rare that I tear up-- normally I'm a strong gal who doesn't believe in tears...:(
Can today get better? Can this life get better?

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry that you are having a rough day (and last four years, of course!) this is not a fun jrouney and sometimes we just need a feel-bad-for-myself kind of day! have time for that this weekend? i like junk food and tv marathons myself! hang in there - you are a tough tough person but crying it out sometimes helps too!

    ReplyDelete