Wednesday, October 31, 2012

7th iui natural cycle

Not sure whether it's going on or not. If I turn positive today I'd go in tomorrow but if I turn positive tomorrow I can't go in on Friday due to work. Again, uncertainty. Infertility mixed with reality,WTF;(

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

7th iui on the way with new donor

Switched NECC to Fairfax, donor with impressive record of birth rate, wow.
Here we go again.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Right To Be A Mother

Did a hpt that was stark negative. I knew it too well, so there is no need to waste more hormone, therefore i stopped progesterone last night. Yes, there are MANY MANY "miracle stories" out there where people had their hpt positive past 10 dpo, but I know me too well, I know that empty feeling within me, for 3 years I know it every month.
I refuse to be the certain percent of women who could never give birth, it will happen and I will do anything and everything to make that happen. If anything, I deserve to be a mother, i am entitled to be a mother and even if this is going to be the hardest battle
In my life, I'm gonna win it.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Already knew it

9 dpo, symptom including all progesterone manifested sensations: sore bbs, cramps, higher tem...
Woke up this morning feeling "empty"inside, such had been felt in every failed cycle. Had a weird light LH surge in the am, then it's gone by the pm. Hem.....

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Bloody f-ing day

I just want to cry and curse. several people on my Facebook either posted about being pregnant or have already given birth.
When the hell is my F-king turn????????????????????????????????????????
And, I'm truly happy for them... I just would like my fucking turn please, 3 years is long enough in my opinion.

Oral bbt VS. Vaginal bbt??

My bbt hasn't today I tried vaginal bbt---holy moe! Huge difference! Regular oral bbt 97.6 and when taken vaginally is 98.9-99.1!
Wth?? Think I'm going to start charting bbt again. After the prob now I'm having a lower an cramp. Jesus come ---on!! :((((

6dpo.... Already feeling low

Cried in my hubby's arm today, feeling totally bummed. We are trying too hard perhaps?? But what else can I do?
Is there anything else I can do?? I wish there's a way to knock me off for a couple of weeks after iui...

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

4 dpo crappy mood

Here I am again, on my 2nd injectable round, 6th iui total, feeling the completely lost, insecure, crappy and miserable 2WW. I'm testing the trigger this time, so far the strip still has a visible line, I think It will eventually be gone by next 4 days or so. It made me wonder if the shadows I saw from the previous cycles which I thought were miscarriages were actually just left over triggers...I've become soooooo good at squinting at the strips....