Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Had to really be on the ball for my biopsy results, after 10 calls to the lab and CCRM later I was finally given my result.
Yay, my guts is right again. So we are clear for FET, without having to deal with 2 month of Lurpon shots. Just want to give myself a hug, for getting some positive news :) (self hug-ing)

Monday, February 24, 2014

Baby shower............

I've been incidentally invited to a baby shower as result of trying to meet up with a friend. Both of us are busy so she decided we could just meet at a mutual spot: someone's baby shower. And I don't know this person. Now imagine how awkward it would be for me to be at a stranger's baby shower, being where I am, struggling both mentally and physically trying to overcome infertility.
I feel like if I expose myself to it, it will only add more shades to my shady days, which is already hovering over my life, day and night.  I feel like as much as I need to be "normal", I also need to protect my feelings....

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Beta 3 biopsy update*

As I made the appointment for Thursday this week, for the biopsy with Dr. Wang at Sher, a friend from FB group said I should definitely double check with my nurse regarding the timing (I counted day after retrieval as DAY1) . BOY WAS I GLAD I DID. Turns out, that the retrieval day isn't necessarily the ovulation day, but the best collection time is ONE WEEK after the retrieval, so I would have missed the time frame if I did it on Thursday. Quickly I dialed Sher, somehow by the grace of fertility god, they were able to switch my appointment to Tuesday (today), and they already have the kit!
The morning snow made our commute from PA to NY hellish but otherwise great. Dr. Wang collected tissue from my very stubbornly tilted uterus, the collection was nothing but a tiny cramp. And I was done, out of da door. They are sending out the sample today, the result should be in in a week. I'm gonna try not to think about it until the result is here...

Monday, February 17, 2014

2nd Beta 3 Integrin Biopsy!

The nurse confirmed that I could do another biopsy this month, but I have only a week to figure out how besides resorting to my OB who didn't do correctly the first round. The lady from Etegrity lab helped me to find Dr. W from the Sher institute in New York, who was willing to do the biopsy without us cycling with them. What a GOD SEND he was! Rarely do you get to speak with a doctor (in my experience) who is so caring and compassionate, and willing to jump right through the hoops and offer actual help, I had not expected this to work out but it did. My 2nd Beta 3 Integrin test is scheduled for this Thursday.  They even have the kit there!
Over the 10 days we were in Denver, we met with someone from the support group, hang out and had great time together :) I'm eternally grateful for the support and good company, and most importantly, sharing with someone in your shoes!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Finally going home

Our Wednesday flight was canceled, and so did the Thursday's flight. We booked again for Friday, praying that we won't be home any later. 
I spoke to a nurse today, who informed me that Dr. Surrey wants me to do the same protocol again, as suppose to protocal 6 which was discussed during our previous regroup. And I have decided to do another beta 3 intergrin biopsy. The lady from Etegrity is helping me to locate a dr who will and knows how to perform it. I love my OB, but she didn't get it right last time... As far as this month goes, we are just resting. I will call CCRM with CD1 period, and we'll go from there.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

5 day1 in the freezer

Out of the 13 retrieved, 6 were mature and 5 fertilized, all 5 are frozen for our next move.
That's pretty good of a record, 50% maturation and 90% fertilization from the 6 eggs.
We have a regroup scheduled with Dr. Surrey to discuss the next step. The billing had already confirmed that we CAN do 2 cycle with CCS, the original package we paid for.
Apparently at yesterday's retrial, after I had my "dirty martini" and lost my consciousness, I belted some high notes on the operating table, which I have no recollection of what so ever, I only remember scooping down to the end of the table feeling pretty lightheaded... I think one of the combination of drugs they use is "sodium pentathol"--the truth serum. I wonder what else I have confessed?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

13 eggs???!

I had to ask the embryologist to pinch me after he reported that we had retrieved 13 eggs altogether. We were shocked, this is the luxury we could never seen coming--to us, me?? 
They will call tomorrow to give the fertilization report, which can tear this nice little bubble and put us back in our place, but for once, we left the retrival with our chins up in air.
Life is so unpredictable.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Saturday, February 8, 2014

No call today

I went for my morning ultra sound and blood, then stayed by the phone for new instructions.  Pass 5 pm, No call, I thought oh wow, is this normal for the weekend or am I forgotten?? Pass 530 I star to panic and dialed the emergency line, 15 minutes later the on call service gave me my new dosage for tonight. Maybe they are getting back at me for changing our plans? No conspiracy theory intended but this is pretty upsetting..:/ 

Friday, February 7, 2014

Decision time

My ultra sound showed rather dim outcome today, the lead follicles in both ovaries are growing fast, leaving the rest behind. In the regroup with Dr.Surrey, we were advised these options:

A. Go through with retrieval
   > fresh transfer?
   > bank whatever comes out?
B. Cancel the cycle and try a new cycle on protocol 6
C. Go straight to DE (this is an open option for us since the begining)
Despite the struggles with labs, meds and coordination, I was really hoping for something more encouraging, but we have to face our reality and make the best decision for ourselves.
Dr. Surrey thinks I might trigger on Sunday and have retrieval on Tuesday. The best we can get is the two leading, and maybe a few larger ones.
Update: the nurse thought that the doctor might have forgotten about my testosterone priming, in which case I can't do a fresh transfer, so we are now mostly looking at FET.
Why couldn't things be just black & white?

 Dr. Surrey revealed to us in our regroup today that their new CCS policy now requires 3 cycles (frozen, frozen and fresh), and they have made the price more affordable for patients.
I CAN NOT  imagine going into my 11th IVF. At this point, we have changed our direct drastically, we are NOT doing CCS, but will go through with a retrieval.  If fresh transfer isn't an option, and we have some quality embryos, we will do a FET.

Thursday, February 6, 2014


The mountain time zone has been messing with my system since we arrived, my eyes are dry and everything inside of me feels inflated.
1st U/S reveals 1 lead follicle on the left, amongst others. Right ovary is doing more evenly at this point. Eh, there is a reason why Clomid is EVEEEL, I'm more convinced that it puts me on for higher risk of lead follicle situation.
As of this morning--
L 20 10 9 7 5 5 ~ 1+
R 13 12 9 7 7 4 4 ~ 3+
Keep in mind that our best retrieval record is 8 eggs, 2 to transfer on at day 3, none for freezing, ever, anything beyond that would be a crowned a miracle for us.
Got to meet people from the group tonight for delicious noodle!
Rooting for someone just had her retrieval today:)

Have a slap, will travel--rant from a hormonally tipsy woman

The past 3 days have been a windwhirl for us. First I completely forgot my 2nd U/S & blood draw; rushed down to the OB's other office only to realize that they don't do LH, Progesterone and E2.  The receptionist was SUCH A BITCH I so much wanted to slap her-- excuse my offense but when I called the Dr's office to see if I can still catch her for the ultra sound and blood, she mumbled something about "she's not sure if my insurance covers the blood tests", I thanked her for being "concerning" but my priority is to get the tests done and faxed to CCRM so they could call me with the instruction of the stim.  I got off the phone never suspected anything else. 40 minutes later, she sees me in person and said, "oh, we don't do these tests here." I was like, "WHAT?" Then she proceeded to say that she was"trying to tell me that on the phone, but I got mad at her."
?????  what the what???
Do I live in the same world as his woman? If she knew the tests couldn't be done, why couldn't she call me and tell me that while I was on my way? She has my complete contact on file! 
So I quickly started to look for a nearby lab that could do the tests and fax in the result on the same day. The receptionist then said there is a lab down the road that can probably do it, but she WOULD NOT GIVE ME THE NAME OR THE NUMBER OF THE PLACE!??! She insisted that I wait for the nurse. AND I WAITED 35 MINUTES FOR THE NURSE. When the nurse finally came out, she repeated the absolute same verdict, now my time is ticking and I fear that I might not get the tests done in time.

But luckily we were able to go to the hospital, and the lab did eventually fax in the results, and I was able to get a call from CCRM.........
We flew in yesterday. Flight was 2 hrs late. It was scheduled to arrive at 5pm, we were planning to drive up, settle in and see friends for dinner. At 630, we were still waiting for our luggage, at 715 we were finally on the bus to the car rental place. As "preferred member", I guess you get an email about your already arranged car position, so the driver can drop you off with your car ready. We never got an email. So I called the office, gentleman on the phone said,"oh, sorry, the email will be sent to you in the next 5min." Next 5 minutes, nothing. So I called again, as our shuttle is now approaching the preferred member drop off zone.  A lady got on the phone and gave me this mumble jumble about us pre-paying with our credit card, so we have to go in with a proof of the card to get our car, which COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of their advertised "preferred member service".
After we FINALLY FINALLY got into a SUV, started to drive away, we realized the tire pressure on 3 wheels are low, so we had to turned around to get a new car.......we made to the dinner at 820pm.