Friday, October 31, 2014

Beta Day

My nurse called in an overly enthusiastic voice(which is very funny given her calm nature), starting with "--you ready for some good news today??" I think she was slightly bummed when I said I kind of knew already :)
She then announced my beta which was a bit shocking to me-- 316! E2 333 and a lower progestrone-15.6. I'm instructed to increase PIO to daily shot, hmm. Can't complain!
I can't wait to share this with the group!!! :D But right now I want to wait and see how the beta doubles on Sunday..
This is unbelievable. We are pregnant!!!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Holding my breath

I knew I had to test when we came home, but I was terrified of being disappointed yet again so I waited a day before revealing to S. He was so happy but also cautious. Poor guy I forgot how fearful and fragile we all have become since our journey commenced. I've told a few close friends about our current status, but the truth is, the prayers, thoughts, vibes and positiveness I received from many, many people who helped us getting here--not just getting pregnant(to be confirmed), but the courage of trying.  I will forever be grateful and will continue on it is the only to concur infertility.
Beta on Friday...

Saturday, October 25, 2014


Any promising symptoms? No, nothing out of ordinary from the past experiences. I'm usually pretty crampy from day1, lots of weird, vivid dreams and getting up early. And I'm gassy, thanks to bed rest and stress eating:(  To prevent constipation I've been chugging tons of water, so far it's working pretty well.
Here's the 2ww personal obsession resport: According to the embryo growth chart, my 2(or 1)little bean/s should have/has hatched out of shells and beginning to attach onto the uterine wall. Last night I spent + 1 hr studying the embryo grading system, so I could look at the pictures S snatched and conclude without asking the embryologist-- it just feels better coming from myself.

 Here's the guilty truth, since I couldn't snatch the picture myself, S had to do the honor. I couldn't really see out little embie because the screen displaying them was rather far from the bed. S took several pictures, when I finally got to see them, my heart sank a little.  I couldn't help but feeling disappointed-- the embryos, though not in their best capture quality, seemed less than promising.
What kind of person I am to be saying this to my would be child/children when I have desired them so much and vowed to love them no matter what? I was ashamed toward my initial feelings based solely on their appearance... But I don't have the will to call the embryologist....they are already inside of their mother, knowing their grade make no difference to my outcome. Once again, my little embryos are on their own, finding the oasis to settle and grow.  They might not be the best quality embryos but they made this far and I should have never ever doubted their well to survive, as for once I did the very same.

Friday, October 24, 2014


I'm counting d1 as the day after the transfer. After 36hr of bed rest I'm finally up and around:) Also I'm drinking a lot of water to keep thing afloat. So far so good.... There are no symptoms, if any it would be the PIO, the suppository and the patches.  I'm absolutly ignoring the twitches, the aches or the feeling of contraptions around my bun.
Now the two little guys we transferred, they/it might or might not implant, I really hope they do, but if they pass on it, it would be sad, but ok. We have tried so hard, through so much pain and many drops of tears, we have done everything we could except cloning ourselves(which oddly has been mentioned as one possibility). I'm not confidant--not one bit, especially after 5 failed implantations, 3 canceled cycles and countless failed iui. I know there is something inherently wrong with my system. Now adding S's complication to my equations, I think the fact we got this far to an FET is already a miracle.  I appreciate the hope, the sense of peace. If Mother Nature can not be defied, at least we put up a good fight.

Thursday, October 23, 2014


Forgot to say, our room (specifically the bed) at the Hampton inn literally looks right at CCRM, haha! Talking about putting it out of the mind post transfer.
My beta is October 31 the Halloween  day, the same day we came to colorado last year for ODWU. Not looking for any omen but when I walked in the hotel lobby after the transfer, the hotel music was singing:" I have walked a full circle.."
How about that? It's just hilarious!
Now back to Netflix;)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

transfer day review

Everything went well today! I had a hearty breakfast and wore my good luck jewelry:)

Here are our little guys, they both survived the thaw. 1 expanded 100% and the other one expanded 80% when they were transferred. Nurse said the 2nd will expand quickly and they will start hatching soon.
I never asked for the grades, figured I'd do it later after the pregnancy test,  it wouldn't have mattered since we are transferring both. 
Dr. Surrey did my transfer which was very smooth:)  Also the Valium they gave me really helped, both for the acupuncture and the transfer:)
Now I am to bed rest until Friday morning...zZZZ

Monday, October 20, 2014

Taking off tomorrow

Got My transfer instruction call tonight, nothing out of ordinary and not too different from my past experience with fresh transfers. Our little pooh is going o have fun week at the boarding home:) I bet he misses being around his suburb friends:)
I don't know if I would be updating my blog every other minute for the next 5 days, I suspect so, certainly for my FET experience.  Can someone give me a knock out pill after the transfer so I can sleep through my 2WW?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Guess which day is the transfer day?

Just thought this is kind of funny... Ha....
Had my last blood draw today, will know how P4 is looking then off to Denver!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

2ND U/S, lock in date to FET

Lining puffed up to 14 today, it grew a 100% since last week. I was initially concerned but the nurse indicated that Dr. S felt comfortable below 16. Good thing I'm right on calendar with the date and the meds; starting endometrin tomorrow then Sat first PIO.  I was waiting for today's call to book the hotels and our flights, turns out both the Element and Staybridges were fully book, so we had to stay at another place.
Wow I can't believe it's really coming! Good thing we never unpacked ha!:]

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

First U/S

Went for my first monitoring to check lining and blood. All looking good, no cyst (phew) and my lining is already at 7. Waiting for the blood result to come back.
3 weeks with no caffeine, it's so hard (ghhhaa!) but I am proud of myself to have stuck out this far :)
My nurse called late in the day, they received all my results and everything looked fine as I am to continue following my calendar and speak with her on the 16th--2 more weeks!!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Whhhhhhhy yyyyyou glitches!!

Well, more glitches. I'm short of Lurpon syringe and I think the Lurpon isn't going to last another 15 days either. Now I desperately need  to replenish my syringe supplies. WHY didn't I ask for it while at King's pharmacy yesterday??????????
On another note, several lucky gals are PREGGERS in the support group, this is more encouraging than anything:) Feeling full in heart and super excited for the mommie-to-bes!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Small glitch with the FET prelude

My Vivelle Patches... Nurse ordered 8 boxes and Pharmarcy only sent 1:/ Glad I called CCRM to confirm, so now I'm on my way to pick it up in NY. Well we have to go to NY anyway, lucky it worked out:)
I probably check my calendar 3 times a day to prevent any mistakes from sabotaging this FET haha....