Tuesday, February 24, 2015

20 week scan;)

All is well with baby N at her 20 week scan, we are so relieved, again. The nurse must have measured every sigle bone is her little active body, including counting the fingers (there are a total of 20 with her feet included!) So far we are told baby N is on track and perfect in every way:)

Monday, February 16, 2015

Need to vent..

Time is going by fast these days, next week I'll be 20weeks ad ready for the anatomy scan. Baby N has been kicking quite strongly so I'm not as concerned about it, but there is always that voice behind the head whispering "what ifs"...anyway I digress...
I need to vent...and it's not about the baby, on that end I'm forever sooooo grateful that we got here, through many many tries...

S and has one and only brother, but they have never been really close (like grab a beer let's go fishing or double dating type).  They never had any fall out, they just had separate lives and lived in distance.  Two years ago S' sister in law passed away, she had been going through treatments, however S wasn't told until she was already in terminal stage, if it wasn't for his nephew who told us.. I knew despite the lack of contacts, S truly cares about his brother, should they need his support.  I encouraged him to reach out to his brother and let him know that he's there for them. S did, and it was really nice to see the two brothers talking.  Today his brother called, which was fairly surprising since we hadn't heard from him since last year. After the phone call S seemed slightly bummed.  I asked what's the matter and how is his brother doing, he said his brother is getting married in May, but S wasn't "invited" (or not-invited, for that metter).  They talked about his brother's wedding plan, and that was it.
So his brother did not invite his own brother to his wedding. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? But I feel so bad for S because I know he feels disappointed and rejected, especially after he broke out of his hard shell to make an effort with his only brother. I think sometimes blood relative take relationships and communications for granted:( Here I'm constantly wishing that I had a sibling..how ironic. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015


So, things are going well.  I'm still feeling anxious but the kicks started a few weeks ago, I can feel the tugging getting stronger by the week:) I think the little peanut is taking a tour around a bit.
S's colleague has been asking about how we are doing, back when we first encountered the twin loss, he said he and his wife lost their son a 6 month gestation, so he knew what we were going through... UM.....that got me really worried for a good while. The thing is, I understand where he was coming from, but that is just NOT the thing to say to a pregnant woman, especially one who just had a twin loss.
On another note, I've finally forced myself (and S) to go through the 4 big boxes of IVF related stuff--I can't believe how much we've invested in making a single baby! I've never recorded how many tubes of gels, bottle of pills or how many needles we've plowed through since 2010, but there would have been twice more stuf if we hadn't moved from NY back to PA...ugh.