The hamster wheel

It's that time again.....yes, S just had his lab done for CCRM for a PESA.  Once again we find ourselves at point zero, not knowing what to expect.  The sperm sample which resulted in baby N was from  a PESA  performed in 2009. Unfortunatly the same doctor who did the procedure (who had twins himself due to infertility)retired and referred us to a much younger doctor. S did not like the younger doctor opening up the consultation with a suggestion to an "experimental Micro procedure" (that would cost 9000 dollars out of pocket). We decided to see if we could do a PESA with CCRM's urologist instead then return next fall for a ODWU.  At this point we are only planning ahead, but I would sleep better knowing science might give us another chance at completing our family....but who knows what's coming to us next? We should hear back from Colorado about S's lab soon....I'm too tired to hold my breath though!

Baby N is thriving, I love her creamy cheeks and dark almond eyes, her cooing along and her big, sensational gummies!

2 months old!(almost)

The truth is, I'm exhausted, but when I hear my sweet, bouncy little baby laugh or cry my heart soars and my boobs have a major let down, it's that magical.

Baby N is 2 months old next week, wow. I just had my 6 week OB follow up, everything is normal and my OB has officially lifted all postpartum restrictions. 

Breast feeding has been great since my milk dropped, in fact I think I'm over producing....oh well I can always donate the extra bags. 

Today I called CCRM to see about the sperm analysis that S and I need to do before cycling again. Yes, CYCLING AGAIN....I can't believe we are willing to do this, AGAIN. In fact I had a full break down the other day, I will spare the details....My nurse must had my charts because she asked when and how much the baby weight at birth.  She said we need to wait for 2 regular periods after stopping breast feeding to do the ODWU, and she will speak to dr.s about taking one of our 3 vials of frozen TESE sperm to see if they are up to the task, otherwise we will have to do another sperm retrieval....S is not looking forward to it, needless to say.  The Idea of going through the major roller coaster again doesn't sound appetizing to anyone, even my friend who begged not to be put though this again, haha (bitter sweet smile).  

My abdominal wound is healing well though still numb, it doesn't hurt anymore when I'm walking or sneezing.

I'm sure baby N would love to be a big sister! Now off to bed....