Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Yesterday I literally fainted. Still not sure what happened, but I did drink 2 different types of herbs-- artichoke water, rose hip water and finally, a cup of coffee. After the breakfast I started getting a bit dizzy in the head, then my ears started riging(I'm a light drinker and this very much resembled to me being drunk over half glass of wine), so I knew that I needed to lie down immediately. (S said I got super pale) After I got up and stumbled to the bed and stayed horizontal for a good 20 minutes I felt better. Something must not have agreed with something, maybe dry & boiled rose hips don't agree with boiled Artichoke water? Another herbal mystery.
Monday, April 20, 2015
We arrived at our destination, it did take a few days to manage ourselves out of the completely dissary though.
Baby N is active, she actually got some sun yesterday. :)
Now back to my title for this post. You know when you are trying to survive infertility you desperately read every single blog to find courage or simply hope. I came accoss many, when I say "many" I mean it. But I didn't start my own until I found Aubrey's blog, that subsequently led to the creation of the CCRM FB group.
I was following this particular blog on and off for a few years, sharing her beautiful writing and words of wisdom. (She has a way of depicting visuality with sheer words which is quite incredible for lazy writers like me..) She was finally pregnant after FET, I was so very happy for them as I had been cheering and hoping for her success. Today I found out that they loss their child. My heart just sank, I'm so sad because I know what that black hole feels like and what it does to living beings.
5+years of struggling with infertility and we are finally able to conceive this baby, yet at 7 month we still don't have any baby cloths, toys or anything. Maybe something in the back of my head is still feeling pessimistic-- I cannot, cannot imagine loosing her, after loosing our twin.
...took a walk where I had a breakdown two years ago, right after the Denamrk cycles--It was so hard after failing 2 mini ivfs, the new thing that supposed to have worked for me.. not even a single transfer?? I thought I was strong but I was just...in denial. Those dark times...
Be strong, my blog sister. I know this whole sticking ordeal is insufferable and unfair, and I know you both are going through stages of grief. I'm grieving with you.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
There has been no notable update; although S and I are heading out in a few weeks, so right at the moments everything is a frenzy. Baby N is really active: she wakes up in the morning, back for a nap, briefly gets back on her kicking trail in the afternoon, then in the evening she has her dancing class. Hopefully I'm learning as much of her as she is of us..another 13 weeks!