Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Baby dreams

I can always feel the significant change of my general mood after being on stims, I also hate those baby dreams, especially the vivid ones.
My sister in law has just passed.  It took2 years for her and the family to accept that she was going eventually die.  It was a long, exhausting two years where there were glimpse of hope that were crushed by reality.  We were not close (that's another story which takes a lot of therapy and time to tell), but I made sure she knew that she was always in our thoughts, and if she needed anything, we were here for her. 
I would without doubt choose her life if I can have the joy of starting a family, as she had two children and a wonderful time raising them. She was surrounded by her husband, children and grandchildren at her final moment, she was gone peacefully and content.
When I die, who would be by my side?
Life hasn't gotten anymore depressing, it's me, I've become this eternally pessimistic person.

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