2ND OB APPOINTMENT and that Maternity21 test...what? 2nd phase??

I "felt through the crack" at my OB's office for doing the Mmaternity21 test....:(((( turns out the office "forgot" to call me in for the 2nd "confirmation test" after drawing blood in my 1st appointment, now we have completely missed the window. Needless to say, we were and still are pissed. My OB nicely assured us that the 2nd test looks for an extremely rare spinal disorder and he does not think we needed to sweat on this. We are still pissed. Anyway.. S and I are off loose for a little over a month next month (last chance to travel "alone"), I'll have my Glucose test before we leave, and have a few scans done at our destination. This should be fun. My official 2nd OB appointment confirmed everything is on track, since baby N has been kicking me so fiercely, we assume she agrees, too. S is taking ""Proxeed" in order to up sperm quality, he'll undergo (hopefully last) PESA to prepare for our next try for a biological child. The quest is still ON..........

20 week scan;)

All is well with baby N at her 20 week scan, we are so relieved, again. The nurse must have measured every sigle bone is her little active body, including counting the fingers (there are a total of 20 with her feet included!) So far we are told baby N is on track and perfect in every way:)

Need to vent..

Time is going by fast these days, next week I'll be 20weeks ad ready for the anatomy scan. Baby N has been kicking quite strongly so I'm not as concerned about it, but there is always that voice behind the head whispering "what ifs"...anyway I digress...
I need to vent...and it's not about the baby, on that end I'm forever sooooo grateful that we got here, through many many tries...

S and has one and only brother, but they have never been really close (like grab a beer let's go fishing or double dating type).  They never had any fall out, they just had separate lives and lived in distance.  Two years ago S' sister in law passed away, she had been going through treatments, however S wasn't told until she was already in terminal stage, if it wasn't for his nephew who told us.. I knew despite the lack of contacts, S truly cares about his brother, should they need his support.  I encouraged him to reach out to his brother and let him know that he's there for them. S did, and it was really nice to see the two brothers talking.  Today his brother called, which was fairly surprising since we hadn't heard from him since last year. After the phone call S seemed slightly bummed.  I asked what's the matter and how is his brother doing, he said his brother is getting married in May, but S wasn't "invited" (or not-invited, for that metter).  They talked about his brother's wedding plan, and that was it.
So his brother did not invite his own brother to his wedding. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? But I feel so bad for S because I know he feels disappointed and rejected, especially after he broke out of his hard shell to make an effort with his only brother. I think sometimes blood relative take relationships and communications for granted:( Here I'm constantly wishing that I had a sibling..how ironic. 

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So, things are going well.  I'm still feeling anxious but the kicks started a few weeks ago, I can feel the tugging getting stronger by the week:) I think the little peanut is taking a tour around a bit.
S's colleague has been asking about how we are doing, back when we first encountered the twin loss, he said he and his wife lost their son a 6 month gestation, so he knew what we were going through... UM.....that got me really worried for a good while. The thing is, I understand where he was coming from, but that is just NOT the thing to say to a pregnant woman, especially one who just had a twin loss.
On another note, I've finally forced myself (and S) to go through the 4 big boxes of IVF related stuff--I can't believe how much we've invested in making a single baby! I've never recorded how many tubes of gels, bottle of pills or how many needles we've plowed through since 2010, but there would have been twice more stuf if we hadn't moved from NY back to PA...ugh.

IT'S A GIRL!!

Out of the blue, I got a call from my nurse from the OB's office, she asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby, of course we caved HA!
It's official! Baby GIRL on the way!! :D

15 WEEK SCAN WITH OB

We did it! We are having a BABY!!!! I know it's odd for me to exclaim this now but in the gap between week10 and this morning, just before that magic wand touched my belly, I was feeling so very unconvinced about this pregnancy. Then we saw his/her little head and little legs...then we heard the heart beats... it just now occurred to me that there is indeed this little tiny life growing inside of me, and it is possibly the leading cause of me living in sweatpants due to everything else being unfit. I CAN'T believe how pessimistic I have become since we started the journey to conceive, to perpetually expect nothing but bad news had created permanent damage to my ability on accepting good news.

Well, that won't change for a while BUT here's good news-- All is fine (so far), and all takes a breath (for now).  We also are doing Centruy21 test for assurance.  I will go back at 20 weeks and see how it goes from there.

 

S joked that the baby looks like a giant beetle on the scan, now I can't get it out of my eyes...:/

FIRST OB VISIT, the nurve sets in.

First OB appointment made for next Wednesday, would have liked an earlier time but oh well.  Spoke with the nurse regarding missing tests, etc, later got a call from my OB in person, who was so sweet to congratulate us....last time we saw her was during our first cycle monitoring in Feb last year...time flies..! She said that the only test they would recommend is a one that has to be done before week20, other than that she thinks we're all good. Sadly since there are 5 doctors rotating in her service, I won't be seeing her next week, but she would make sure the new doc is brought up to date on my status.  We are officially going to see our little peanut next Wednesday......SO NERVOUS.  We have not seen her/him since week 10, sure there's a little bump, and the nausea is still around, but sometimes I really wonder if things are cooking alright inside....hmmmmmmm.