Friday, April 18, 2014

Priming cycle updates

Today is the first day that progesterone is added to my cycle, actually I'm a day late, not reading my calendar careful enough, again. Almost as soon as I applied the gel capsule nausea came by, very pleasantly.  Just another 11 days of it..........
Other than the cycle, in this otherwise very petit world unrelated to babe making, I'm in a dark, tiring place as we are wrapping up for the summer, where there will be even more obligations that I'm not entirely sure is worth losing sleeps over.  A career v.s a dream, can't I have both???
However it's SO great to see some people archiving success with various stages of their treatments at CCRM, it really raises our hopes... Is this a good thing? Although I've convinced myself that I am prepared to fail our last attempt for hopes to have biological children, it would still be very hard to get through the first couple of days...dreadful thoughts, I know.
I actually had a very enlightening conversation with my mom last week, who is an extremely independent person currently taking a hike in Amsterdam. I told her to make sure that she visits the "coffee shop" for some "brownies", she didn't take the joke--Or did she?  Anyway growing up my mom has always been very cautious and hesitant when it comes to sex education. As result we could never talk about sex, so we never did. I figured everything out eventually, but it would have been easier if I could speak to her about it during puberty....for the first time, we spoke about fertility, and my infertility. Funny she never had any problem conceiving, it was actually more of the opposite for her, funny how life works.  She knew what we have been going through, even though I do not want her to share my constant grief, she senses it anyway.  It's hard to admit, but my mom is almost aways right about me.  I told her about CCRM and she is thrilled that we are still trying.  A few years back she casually predicated that I will be pregnant in the year of horse, and here it is, the year of horse! Let's hope she is right, again...



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