These challeneged days

I'm not having much cramps at all this time around, which is good, otherwise I go bananas.
My head is a huge ball of cotton, it's so stuffed inside I can't seem to fit anything into it.  I'm trying to develop my teaching plan, but my mind is not willing to give today :( Duhhhh. Aside from the progesterones and the incoming storm, I'm more or less confined at home.  The hardest thing is that I can't exercise, at least not right now at 2dp3dt. I know people have various opinions on post transfer activity and I certainty don't mean going about a marathon, but exercising keeps me sane.  Not being able to stretch or jumping rope is very frustrating, especially since I'm eating like a pig.  Yesterday I had a huge indigestion, this is what happens when I spend some serious time on cooking at home. Husband doesn't pick on food and is highly complementary(brave soul!).  Once I start searching for recipes, that's it for the rest of the day (Hence the indigestion...)
I hope the storm is nothing serious.. certaintly could use some sunshine right now.

The beginning of a new 2WW

The embryologist recommends the transfer today. Out of the 5 eggs retrieved, 4 were mature but only one fertilized. The surviving embryo however, is at an exceptional quality with less than 5% fragmentation, they gave it a grade of 8AA--finally some light in the tunnel for us.

 

That being said, I have begun the magic 2WW.  Let's hope this is the one and let our 3 year IF journey end here.

1

1 egg fertilized, out of 5 retrieved. I'm not going to embellish how I am feeling right now-- This  sucks. 

5

5 eggs collected at ER today, that's all I can say. I'm so disappointed. I don't want to be pessimistic but even when we had 7 or 8 eggs retrieved, we normally only end up with 2 or less embryo at ET, that's less than a 1/3 transfer rate, this patter predicts only 1 egg will probably be up for transfer, statistically speaking...
I don't want to be down on this already, but that evil voice is already singing out loud....

Trigger tonight, it's on.

I'm anxious.  I have been looking at the clock on top of the piano all afternoon, because we are triggering tonight at 10pm sharp.  I've been getting some warm prayers from my friends, and god, if you are holding your remote on me, let this be my turn, that's all I am ever going to want to take a short cut on...
So far we have a total of 12 eggs on both side; right ovary is nice and perky; left is a bit timid (as usual), but we have 12 eggs, so that's good.  However this is not even the beginning yet, our challenges include 1. A solid retrial 2. Good embryo development 3. Successful transfer 4. To stick or not stick...
In the past (2 cycles) we've always had about 12 eggs during stim; 7-8 at the time of retrieval; 2 or less at transfer. I've dreamed, prayed and wished so many times that somehow all of the eggs developed normally, but it never happened...I would get those dreadful phone calls from the nurse informing me the cruel reality, then somehow manage to get through the rest of the diminishing days... But hey, things could be different this time, who knows..?

The antagonist

Went to day 6th u/s, cold day, getting up in the morning is ever so painful now days! Ultra sounds shows left and right ovary growing total of 10 (><10) follicles, although mt left ovary was in quite "hide & seek" mood today.  Well, I was expecting maybe a few more follicles given that I'm on the top dose of stim.
However the nurse called in the afternoon to say that my E2 turned out unexpectedly high (comparing to the follicle growth), the doctor is changing her plan with me,  that I was to start the Antagonist tonight (with Ganirelix).
 Will be back on Monday. 

The morning after..

A few days ago hubby and I went to see a movie, since I am such a terrible movie-bully, we I decided that we should see "Mama" over "Zero Dark 30" (ghost, no war!).  Now mind you I am the type that is neither brave enough to see the graphic scenes nor satisfied not seeing them, so half of the time my face is behind my scarf, natural...  If you haven't seen this movie, don't read this!

The film never explained the reason for "her" insanity, I joked that she must have had an IVF without insurance and it didn't work. After all. it's just a movie, but I can't seem to recover from all the creepiness, yak! :(