One week before cycle # 1--HOW ARE WE DOING?

Lately I've been feeling as if I'm about to burst with what's coming to us, to know there is a future ahead of us already had our fate deemed, without a shred of mercy but cold, calculated rationality.  Our dream to have biological children maybe once again declined by nature's will...and the time, the tears, the internal struggle we both suffered...it's almost too much to express, thanks to the EPP priming!
 
First, let me start with the original instruction from my progesterone suppository label which says "TAKE ONE BY MOUTH VAGINAL TWICE /DAY". ha.

Lots going on, much attributed by coordinating sperm transfer and foreplay before our cycle.
We have a vial of 3 year old sperm in CWRC that we are transporting to CCRM.  CCRM uses Urology associates for sperm retrival.  We have done TESE(Testicular sperm extraction) for the past 6 cycles due to our male factor. When we visited the office during our ODWU, we met with the urologist, who was and still is very pleasant.  HOWEVER, they insist on doing a PESA(Percutaneous epididymal sperm aspiration) in which the patient is put under Anesthesia where they will cut open the testicles for sperm located in the epididymis, rather than a TESE which extracts sperms cells in the testicle. The latter has always worked great for us, and is one of the few things we can always count on in this painfully unpredictable process. The difference? None that we could notice, since DH had both in the past.

The difference in CCRM's case? -$4100. CCRM charges a "facility fee" of $2600 for the urologist to perform PESA in their facility, and we will still have to pay the urologist a $1500 fee. None of this is covered by insurance mind you. So we thought, well, we will just let the urologist know that we prefer a TESE over a PESA, get the bill corrected and move on to the cycle. WRONG. After numerous of calls and messages to several secretaries, we finally spoke with the urologist. What should have been a simple request turns into a 3 day phone tag, still no sign to budge. We started to feel that with one week left to pay off the bill, if the urologist and us can't agree on the sperm retrieval method, our cycle basically won't happen, and so far they have not been willing to change the protocol.

Now, many people's attitude about CCRM is "why not go all the way if you are already cycling with THE MOST EXPENSIVE institution in the US??" Sure, CCRM is a magical place that made so many people's baby dream come true. Most people in our group swear by its fabulous lab quality, and I don't doubt that.  BUT does that mean we are going to be stripped away our senses and be slaughtered like cows simply because we have no choice but to obey? This is an extra of $4100 we are speaking of, on top of our $35000 IVF bill. Money doesn't grow on trees, (does it?) and with literately no insurance coverage, we are (like most people) paying everything out of pocket.  (Our TESE in New York City, was under a thousand dollars--NEW YORK CITY!! )

So we decided to forgo the fresh sperm retrieval at the Urologist Associates, instead do a TESE in NY, ship both frozen sperm to CCRM for the cycle. Would it make a huge difference? I really doubt it. It's more important that I have a better egg production, which we'll find out soon...